According to Me...

Insomnia - Again

2007-11-07T00:57:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered what starts certain peoples' insomnia? It's funny because It comes, and goes, and comes, and won't leave, and gets a little better, and then worse, and goes, and comes... I think you get the picture. Recently, my insomnia has raged back in it's full glory. I can attribute it to one thing--DVR.

My wife and I lived a simple life for the first two years of marriage--no cable TV. Since my new job, we were given the "wondrous" DVR technology. I am now seeing this as a catch 22. While I now have the opportunity to conveniently miss all my favorite programs (e.g., The Office and Boston Legal), I inevitably end up awake, and left wondering what new developments occurred--never mind it won't affect my life one iota. The end result is a marathon of blogging, Facebook, and me "clearing out" the DVR one 1/2 hour at a time.

So is life. I should see it for the best--this is where I come up with all the crap for this blog.

Hope In Life

2007-11-03T01:06:00.000-06:00

Amidst all of the incoherent, mind-numbing propaganda the fine people of the United States have to endure, I have found hope in three things recently.

Per the new TV program The 1/2 Hour News Hour, I have been dubbed a "Closet Conservative." What makes this worse, is that I'm living in the San Francisco Bay Area. After all, who wouldn't be forced to keep on the "down low" when living in the same area of MoveOn.org, and the the city where it is illegal to distribute plastic bags. Yikes...

With all of this, I'm glad to find a few rays of hope.

First, I found Glenn Beck--yes Glenn Beck. Mr beck doesn't claim to be anything, but a thinker. It's funny (Funny "ha" opposed to Funny "ha ha") that a recovering alcoholic / "Mormon" found the method of reason that would otherwise escape 97.5623% of the politicians in DC. That method being "thinking".

Now, I don't agree with everything Mr. Beck says, but if it's nothing other than thinking, then count me in!

Next, I found The Office. With all the monotony at work, it is nice to know that there is a show that parallels a typical work day of half of America. Although The Office strangely parallels my life at work (I don't know if I'd be Jim, or Dwight) the genius behind the show is exactly the mundane nature (with the subtle annoyances , one-liners, etc.) that a normal person sees every single day.

It does my heart good to know that my routine life could, in fact, win Emmies. Good times... Good times...

Lastly, my hope was in life was revived when the best team in the land, the Sox, my boys won the World Series. Yes, the Red Sox won their second Series in two years. (Yanks--0 in over 7 years.) The Bo Sox have now won the year I proposed to my little wifie, and also the year my future Golden Glove Winner was born.

Go Sox!

Almost 4 Months

2007-11-03T00:20:00.000-06:00

Parker has been here for almost four months now. He was born on 7-9-07 at 11:47 pm. He was 8 Pounds, 13 Ounces, and 23 inches long. He is now standing (with help) and jabbering on and on and on... He's quite possibly the coolest kid ever!

Alison retired--after one year at the school, and is now working part-time as a Personal trainer again. I'm working as a Business Rep at Comcast, and we are getting ready for school all over again. Alison is getting ready to

go back to school--as a student. She is thinking about being an RN now, and it's the LSAT for me in a couple of months.

We are planning a trip to Star Valley for Kori's farewell soon. We hope that Parker handles it well. Keep your fingers crossed..

The Sox won the Series, and we had Parker dolled up in their garb. Alison was / is patient, but let me do it still.

That's about it this time!

Almost Time!

2007-11-03T00:17:00.000-06:00

(First Posted June 11, 2007)

We only have a few more days until our boy gets here. We are so excited, and can't wait until he's here.Alison has been feeling a little down and out ever since we moved to our new apartment, but she is a trooper, and still managed to go to a half day of school today. I tell her that she's crazy, but she insists that if she didn't show up, "the substitute would fall for their little tricks, and won't fail the ones that deserve to fail." (I'll post the pictures that you all asked for in a couple of days.)I was offered a job as a Business Account Executive for Comcast. It will give me much better hours, and it is also right up my alley! If I accept, I'll start in the middle of the month.That's all I have for today!

It Must Be the Gamma Rays

2007-06-04T15:52:00.000-06:00

Since I moved to California over a year ago, I have continually come to the conclusion that something very strong is warping the brains of the majority of the people living here. I thought that it may be the ULTRA Liberal stench radiating from San Fransisco, but the more I think, the more I feel it's deeper than that... Much deeper.

We have Legalized Pot... wow. There's a great idea. Let's get people hopped up on cannabis, and let them run the state! Never mind the fact that you have to get a prescription, but now we have the proverbial Pharmacist selling, on the corner. Wow...

We have Illegal Aliens that are now called "Undocumented Workers" Really, if it looks like a rat, smells like a rat, and feels like a rat, I'm guessing it's not gonna be a zebra. Wow...

This list goes on and on, and the more I think about it, the more confused I become. It's time to high-tale it out of here before the purple haze sets in.

Hot...Cold...

2006-07-21T17:57:00.000-06:00

I have a problem.

It's over 100 degrees outside. As I look out of my window, in my"cozy" office I freeze. The problem is that my office is right next to the air conditioning core. I know, it doesn't sound like a problem, but when it's 40 degrees difference from my office to outside, it tends to be an area of concern...

Nevermind the fact that I'm wearing a jacket in the middle of the blistering California summer, it's all the people that come into my office that just came from outside. They are sweating their guts out, and they want to come into my office because it is cooler here than outside. Let's face it, a lot of these people are smelly.

If it's not the smell, its the sweat dripping onto my desk, floor, chairs, phone, whatever the office supply / victim may be for the day. To fix this problem, I felt it necessary to go to Sam's Club and to buy 5 gallon bottle of instant sanitizer, now they can sweat anywhere they want and get high off the fumes of the alcohol.

I'm just glad I get off at 5:00

My Charmed College Career: Seattle

2006-07-17T13:54:00.000-06:00

I was recently thinking about how charmed my college career has been. Aside from the fact that I went to a school in the middle of a potato field in Nowhere, USA (aka Rexburg, Idaho), I made the most of it.

In fact, I spent a semester doing a "study abroad" program. (Believe me, Seattle is definitely abroad compared to Rexburg, Idaho.) There, we studied sociology first hand. We worked with homeless people in the shelter, and had direct interaction with them...

All of that aside, we also had a lot of fun.

We had a supervisor named Dave that acted as if he was fresh out of the ROTC. He would take us on trips to places like the Boeing factory, Mount St. Helens, and the tallest waterfall in Washington...

ooooh... Neat...

All of my "cohorts in crime" managed to make each and every one of these events memorable.

Seattle:
Some girls snuck out and were brought back to the dorms by the police. Apparently, they thought that having a "happy birthday" meant having a hotel party where it ends in arrests.

We created a game where we tried to throw change into peddler's cups, hats, guitar cases, etc while on the run. It's sick... But fun.

We got carded at the Pipe Store (aka the Bong Shop) at Pikes Place. At first they thought we were annoying, then they tried to kick us out for being under age. Where's the brownies?

St. Helans:
Our driver drove off with the gas pump in the tank. Gas went everywhere. We had to stay 40 minutes white everything was sorted out.

The girls of the group thought it would be fun to have a cop give me, Fred, Brendan and Jake a hard time by pretending we got caught doing something illegal. After the picture, they laughed, we got even (see below).

Fire:
Blue Darts. At it's peak of appeal, no beans could be found in the kitchen.

Hand Sanitizer. We found that we could light our hands, amongst other things, on fire with its help.

Windows. We'd draw faces on the outside portion of the girl's windows with window cleaner, then light it at 3:00am.

National Parks. Yes, I accidentally lit a National Park on fire. It was an accident with an entire bottle of white gas. Fortunately, the forest didn't burn more than a little bit of a bush. Unfortunately, quite a bit of seaweed did.

Other Mishaps:

Two of the girls were scared of the window fires and the ridiculously huge "Andrew" snooping around their dorms at 3:30am, so they locked themselves in the bathroom with a razor to protect them until everybody else woke up.

I got a head injury. From what they say, I ran and dove head first into, well... Her forehead. I don't remember.

Dave got stitches in his forehead from one of his "experiments" called The Impossible Challenge!!

I got hypothermia by falling into a ice "covered" river.

Brendan Had a "sea star" attack his deoradant.

etc...

ect.

All in Seattle.

Training! Training... Trainnnnzzzzzzzzzz...

2006-05-10T16:46:00.000-06:00

You know that feeling like you rather have somebody slam your fingers in a car door over and over and over? Well, I have been feeling that way this week. Ironically, I have been training for my new job this week... Coincidence???

Well, a few key points may clear the air on this enigma...

I'm stuck in a room for eight hours with seven other people whom I rather, for the most part, never, ever see again. You know, there is always the one guy that has all the answers, and thinks himself the valadvictorian of the class. He answers all the questions before anybody understands what the instructor is asking.

Speaking of instructors, I find four dominating stereotypical instructor-types. The monotone, the overexcited, the "I have no idea", and the pretty decent instructors. As I look around, my fellow "classmates" have the unanimus look of, "please, not another like that last one."

Also, why can't the thermostat be adjusted accordingly?! It will either be too hot, or way too cold. Everybody but one person in the class will be either dying of heat, or frozen. Do you think the majority will be accumpnied? yeah... right.

Long story short, pray that I'll get out alive.

Help!

Your mom goes to college...

2006-04-28T01:26:00.000-06:00

This weekend I'll be graduating from college (along side with my beautiful wife).

Yes, there is an eventual end to secular schooling. --After gaining enough work experience to get in to grad school, then 2+ more years, I will experience that great day.

No matter, I'm graduating With a BS in Communication (go figure). I'll start my entry-level carrier in a week to pay off the last four years of my life's expenses... But hey, I'm graduating!

Although I am somewhat satirical about graduating, I guess it's some sort of feat. I mean, the ERIC digest said that a college degree helps out in the long run. In addition, by graduating, I'm a minority now.

The U.S. Census said that about 85% of adults over 25 graduate from High School while only around 27% of adults in the same category earn a college degree. The same census also said that I'll be making roughly double as an average high school grad my age.

You know, on Saturday, I'll wear the silly outfit. I'll probably throw my hat, or "mortarboard"(the real name of the hat), at the wrong time, making a fool out of myself. I'll probably feel like an idiot as I shake the board of directors' hands, and I'll more than likely say something stupid to the President of the school when I meet him on stage.

You know what? I think I'll survive all of that humiliation. I mean, not a whole lot of people have an official BS Degree...

All in all, I'm happy with graduating. I'll take my BS and stick it... on my cozy little office wall. While I'm at it, I might as well hang up that third place ribbon I won at my seventh grade track meet.

FYI-- BS stands for Bachelors of Science

Needed: Bigger Phones

2006-04-27T17:15:00.000-06:00

I was talking to a woman today that had to go and buy a new phone for her husband. This was the second time that she had to get a new phone for him because he keeps loosing it.

While thinking about this, I realized that I have done the same thing several times. Is America becoming less aware of their surroundings? Are we, as a society, slipping into a mire of forgetfulness?

I say no! The problem lies not in the person, but in the phones.

Think about it, do you think Zack Morris ever lost his cell phone? No. Every day before school, he had to make extra room in his backpack just for his phone to fit. Think about it; if that phone fell in between the cushions of the couch, you'd know exactly where your phone was as soon as you sat down. (Not to mention the enema from the ridiculously long antenna...) Furthermore, if those phones -the DYNA Tac 8000X from Motorola- are misplaced, you would literally trip over it in a matter of minutes. As you scoop yourself off the floor, TA DA! There's your phone.

Speaking of retro phones; what ever happened to the bag-phones? You know, the sweet leather case with a 456 lb. Battery in the bag? Those were the mobile phone. It had everything! The phone even had the sweet "hang up" feature. This took away pushing those annoying [END] buttons after every call.

It was a status symbol! Now, to be the "new and cool", a person has to tote around a Razr, or a Slvr. Those things are so thin that it is nearly impossible to flaunt you obtained "I'm the Jones, now keep up with ME!" social status.

Man! Those were the days. It was such an easier time in the 80's.

So, join the revolution! Bring back bricks !

Blog?

2006-04-26T18:23:00.000-06:00

So, I was up late last night trying to bore myself to sleep when I found an old e-mail from my friend, Dan Call. Dan sent an old bulk e-mail letting every body know about is "sweet new blog!" http://www.mymothersson.blogspot.com/ I wasn't sure if it was the insomnia, or the late hours wearing on me, but I decided to look.

After looking at Dan's "flippin' Sweet" blog, and after I realized that Dan has mental problems, I decided to give this blog thing a shot.

Now, if you are a person that accidentally stumbled upon this, my blog, as your consummating event in the blog world, never fear--all blogs are not as bad as mine. Sorry this had to be your first.